Dating a guy with borderline personality disorder
Many are determined to tell me how much younger they look than their chronological age, what great lovers they are, and how every female they've been with sexually, has declared them "The Best!
This false sense of entitlement carries into their adult relationships, which is the basis for them using men to fulfill material desires, rather than loving them. Loving's never painful, unless you also have abandonment and attachment issues--and if you didn't, you'd already be outta there!
If he's great looking and funny, you may only want to bed him, which is okay! Self-sabotage is a huge piece of Casanova's picture, and may take the form of chronic ailments or frequent mishaps.
A guy can bitch and moan for decades about not getting enough sex with his wife--yet he's thirty pounds overweight, has bad breath or poor body hygiene, isn't home most of the time due to "work demands," flirts with others in his partner's presence, etc.
Sure, you might get some benefit out of this deal, if you can get him to work on your car, your house or bodybut this prize isn't worth the price you'll pay for maintaining contact. The enlivening challenge of repeatedly surmounting those early traumas, gave him a semblance of power--which is key to his self-defeating compulsions.
His comments throughout our affair implied he had me in the girlfriend box or needed me to think sobut I knew the instant I got on that train, I'd be bumped at the next stop. In short, he got even in the only way he knew how, to salve his poor, brutalized ego.
The minute she dropped her guard and gave him dating a guy with borderline personality disorder to her softer, vulnerable side, he phoned less, played crazy-making mind games, found fault with her, and turned into an asshole.
Having such strong emotions make people with French canadian dating incredibly empathetic, and because of this we find it easy to connect with people on an emotional level quickly. His narcissism prevents him from noticing your pain, or identifying with it.
Does that rearrange your mental files?? I've seen tremendous denial in these men, with reference to idealization of one parent, and rejection of the other--based on who they've come to believe inflicted the least or most psychic injury.
Pay very close attention to how his interactions make you feel. I did not respond.
If you phone him to see where you stand, he's learned how much bad behavior he can get away with and what you'll tolerate--and it sets the tone for all that follows. Shutting down or discarding difficult feelings early in life, leaves us with deficits that come back to haunt us, in adulthood. Castrating any male is dangerous. There's nothing worse than having someone exit a relationship this way.
A great example, was Bob the Narcissist. Why won't he resume with the last one who helped?
Even if your radar's pretty sharp when it comes to men, and you think you're exempt from falling for a borderline disordered male, think again. Any affection or positive attention he got from Mom was solely on her terms, and based on her immediate need for contact or mirroring--not his.
If you're sticking around, make sure he knows he can't abuse you like this any longer--and hope to keep you. Fairly soon after your romance takes flight, he could coax you to "open up" or let down your guard, and trust him more. Naturally, the question begs to be asked: Dating his patients, not only illustrates this Casanova's poor sense of boundaries and impulse control--it's an ethical breach, that could cost him his license to practice medicine!